An Entry Where I Whine Some Moar
I just read Rachel's entry about her last couple of weeks (days? it doesn't matter) and towards the end she talks about how if she had died that night of the accident (wherein some dipshit almost ran her over on her bike), she wouldn't have had anything worthwhile to be remembered by. She puts it much more eloquently than I just did in her blog but yeah, it made me think.

If I died tonight I would have done nothing worth mentioning. I have not impacted any lives, and if I did, I don't remember, which is a bad sign. I haven't even done any community service that I'm proud of. I haven't rescued any sick animals and nursed them back to health, I have yet to have a meaningful relationship, and I basically have nothing to show for the 22 years I've lived on this damn earth, and it is incredibly depressing.

I always say I want to do do do and have some sort of impact on someone (because isn't that what it's all about) but wanting and doing are not the same. I want to make a difference, however small, I want to take advantage of these short years I have on this planet and fucking do something. As soon as I'm settled in my new place, I plan on making a list of goals I can achieve for the rest of the years and goddammit I'm going to start living instead of existing.